truth.

"To lose balance sometimes for love 

is part of living a balanced life."

-Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

via pinterest

Halloween.

The things we do to keep our students happy.

No-Spend November.

Thanks to my friend Alexa, over at A Happy Medium, I have officially dubbed this month as "No-Spend November" for myself.

It's a little challenge some of us are going in on together. The essentials (food, gas, and paying rent) are obviously the exceptions here, but other than that, I won't be spending money on anything this month! I have (for the most part) been standing on my own two financial feet for a year and a half now, and learning to budget with a real teacher salary (ha!) has been a challenge in itself. As an emerging adult in the work force (once again, ha!), savings have suddenly become important to me, and so when I read Alexa's genius idea, I was stoked!

So, who's with me? Well really, who's with Alexa? I know I am.
Let me know if you are in, we'll get each other through this.


On another note, I was a moose for Halloween. The things you do to please 3rd graders.
And thanks to Danielle for being a creative sewing genius and creating antlers for me!
She's my sheep friend.

{pic to come}

shirtless dave.

It's a new trend among my students to decorate their Westridge Wildcat folders.

Today, one came in with this beauty:

I am speechless.

teaching teaching teaching ramble ramble ramble.

Do you remember this poem from last year?


Here are just a few gems that came out of the mouths of babes today:


"You are like, really pretty." - random 4th grader at recess
"You have really good, clear skin" - one of my own chilluns in the middle of a math lesson
"Your hair smells awesome!!!" - random 3rd grade boy in Tier 2 LA
"Here is an apple Miss Stutz," (stops and thinks). "Umm, nevermind." (goes and puts it back in his lunchbox). - little hooligan punk


Whatever. I got two more apples today anyway.

"Good teaching is 1/4 preparation and 3/4 pure theater." -Gail Godwin

oh heyyy.

Remember how I have a blog? Because I totally forgot.

Except for the little voice in the back of my head that would resurface and say BLOG BLOG BLOG every once in a while.

The little voice was actually my mom.

I've even been a total slacker on Project Bake. Once again, I've been baking and not blogging.

I've been teaching third grade for almost a month.

I've moved back to the beloved Enclave.

Remember my post about how a boyfriend should support a girl's love of Justin Bieber?

That's happened too.

Life is a whirlwind. A really good, really fast, really happy, really stretching whirlwind.

I'm learning balance once again. In a whole different way than before, though.

Health has moved its way towards the top of my priority list.

Gym. Food. Sleep.

Blogging and baking have moved down.

But they will still be done! Because I am determined to become one of those wonder women.

You know the type: 35-year-old-mother-of-five-with-three-blogs-five-pets-a-side-job-who-makes-all-sorts-of-DIY-crafts-and-sells-them-on-etsy-and-has-house-parties-every-holiday-who-can-decorate-cakes-and-take-dinner-to-pregnant-women-while-babysitting-the-neighbors-kids-for-free.

This day and age she would probably have a really beautiful pinterest too.

Don't worry. I've been creating an intricate goal chart so I can become that some day.

Actually, the goal chart only lasts until December. But it is awesome.

And on that goal chart? Blog. More often.

I know, I know. You are welcome.

harry potter.

this just gives you a little sliver of my undeniable, unconditional, never ending love for 

the magical world of harry potter.

thank you to my roommates for creating this with me.

i love magic.

the graduated working girl.

"Have you ever worked really hard for something you really wanted and then didn't get it? Me too."


That was the beginning of an entry I was hesitant to post last week. I was hesitant for a broad spectrum of reasons. It was going to be cryptic and I wasn't going to actually address the real situation, and it probably would've sounded like I was dying or grieving or something of the sort. Which was not my aim. But recent events allow me to be straight forward.

I didn't get a job I really wanted. I went through two grueling interviews (they drilled me hard) and an observation in which my students didn't perform their best, and I didn't perform my best because I was frustrated with them. I had nailed the interview process but bombed the observation. The job wasn't mine, and I knew it. I received a phone call two days later informing me that they couldn't "think of any reason not to hire you, but we had to select someone else. But before you get off the phone, there is a real chance another position might open soon and we'd really like you to apply; please please apply."

I wasn't heartbroken. I had already emotionally prepared to be turned down. But I was still disappointed because after my beautiful Franklin Elementary (which doesn't have enough students enrolled to let me stay), this was my next favorite option.

I continued to apply to schools I really had no desire to teach at, and even for some part-time positions. More interviews. More observations. More jobs I didn't want. I even turned a couple down that just didn't feel right.

Somehow I've lived an extremely blessed life. If I work hard, I almost always get what I'm working for. How snobby does that sound? I'm sort of a control freak and handing my life over can be really hard for me, but that week and a half made it easy to think, "Well, the Lord has my path ready for me and I won't worry about it. Because whatever comes comes for a reason." There was no way to have any control, so it was almost a relief to just let Him handle it. And He did.

He let me stress and worry until I learned to trust His plan and relax. He let me learn that you can't always get what you want, and you have to keep working hard anyway. And when I'd been refined, He blessed me.




It's a good thing I didn't publish that post last week. Monday night the principal of the job I really wanted and got turned down called me three times. I finally was able to answer, and he said, "A third grade position has opened up and I want you to have it."

You're reading the words of the brand new 3rd grade teacher for Westridge Elementary in Provo School District! And now I can breathe easier.

get it girl.

Twelve things.

1. I've seen lots of other bloggers do this. So I'm being a copycat. But what list-making maniac (me) wouldn't want to try and put their life into a simple list of 12? Well, 11 now.

2. Speaking of 11, that's how many school days are left in this school year. In eleven school days, I can say I've taught a whole year of school. At age 21. GO ME! This deserves a whole reflective post on its own, if not a book. It's been the hardest thing, emotionally and intellectually, I've ever done. I've cried and worried over these sweet children more than over any boy. And that makes me proud (because I've done my fair share of boy-crying). What a beautiful, successful disaster this year has been. I've learned to love in more ways and directions than I can describe. I've gotten a sneak peek of how much I'll love my own children.

3. Speaking of boys, if I had a boyfriend right now, he would've bought me Never Say Never: Justin Bieber 3D on DVD by now. It came out at midnight last night. And every good boyfriend supports his girlfriend's love of Justin Bieber. 

4. Speaking of Justin Bieber, I really need to post on projectbakeblog.blogspot.com. Alright, it has nothing to do with Justin Bieber, but I've baked a ton I haven't blogged about and I'm starting to feel pretty guilty. I can't wait to get back to working really hard on it again as soon as school gets out. I decided I need to blog my disastrous experiences too, because there have been one or two. Hopefully if you check back after this weekend there will be plenty new recipes and pictures to see!

5. Am I allowed to put a list inside another list? Wanna see my summer list? Here it is:
Go to the following places: Jackson Hole, WY. Rexburg, ID. East coast, somewhere somehow. Littleton, Colorado. See a show (Grease or The Little Mermaid) at Tuachan, St. George. Wakeboard and be an EFY counselor in Texas. Meet husband. Go to all the temples in Utah. Play baseball at the actual Sandlot from the actual movie. It's in Salt Lake. Go camping and hiking as much as possible. Buy a bike. Train for a 1/2 marathon. Get to 75 on Project Bake. Ok, this is starting to look like a huge list.

6. I have a soccer game tonight that I actually really don't feel like playing in. But I already told them I was coming. I'm working on getting excited right now.

7. I'm getting really really excited about my new calling in church. It's just for the summer but it's something that I love, so I'm pumped. And I get to teach other girls how to do their callings; teaching is my favorite.

8. My list for things to get done this weekend is ENORMOUS. I'm scared.

9. Today my students ALL made their Accelerated Reading goal on time (for the 4th goal period straight, I might add). You have no idea how stressful that can be unless you are a teacher at a school with the AR program, or a student who waited until the last week to work on their goal. I am proud, I made my goal as well.

10. Umm, my nose just started randomly bleeding while I was typing #9. I know it's warmer today than it has been and Utah is dry and I've had a bit of a head cold, but bloody nose? Seriously? How weird, I haven't had one of these since my high school soccer glory days (which didn't come with a lot of glory, I might add).

11. So I just got back from my soccer game and realized this post was still sitting here. Annnddd guess what, WE WON. I didn't want to tell you earlier but we lost our first two games miserably, which is why  I wasn't excited. But WE WON! And.... I SCORED! Gotta get down on Friday.

12. Both my roommates are on dates. I'm about to go to an epic life changing party that I am going to make happen because the only other thing happening is the Justin Bieber movie. Maybe the party and movie will combine and create the most wondrous occasion of my life. Besides that one time I went bungee jumping.

texas.

I can't wait to be in this beautiful state in three weeks!

"I have said that Texas is a state of mind, but I think it is more than that. It is a mystique closely approximating a religion. And this is true to the extent that people either passionately love Texas or passionately hate it and, as in other religions, few people dare to inspect it for fear of losing their bearings in mystery or paradox. But I think there will be little quarrel with my feeling that Texas is one thing. For all its enormous range of space, climate, and physical appearance, and for all the internal squabbles, contentions, and strivings, Texas has a tight cohesiveness perhaps stronger than any other section of America. Rich, poor, Panhandle, Gulf, city, country, Texas is the obsession, the proper study, and the passionate possession of all Texans." 

-John Steinbeck

Who is ever adequate?  We all create situations each other can't live up to,  then break our hearts at them because they don't. -Elizabeth Bowen

also, this.

If you read the last post on google reader, the video didn't show up. So click on my page to for your viewing pleasure.

Also, this:

We aren't really roommates. Only in the day time. Don't worry.

don't worry.

Me and Kenj decided to dance in front of a camera to Toto's "Africa" last night. And then post it on our friends facebook. No big deal. We are 13 years old.

This was less than a week after our Youtube extravaganza. Youtube is a situation of education. Pure, endless, joyous education. It taught us the dougie, the jerk, the stanky, the bernie, the shuffle, and even how to be kryspy lyk a pringle, yo. Gettin' KRRRUUNNNNKKKK!!!

I don't even know what that is supposed to mean.

We are also learning how to speak asianglish as well as dance like Koreans.

I know, we really outdo ourselves. We are far more productive than most people we know.
I even graduated college this weekend. More on that later. This is obviously more important.

i make lists.

and here's another, so that I feel like I've kept up with this blog:

I'm only on recipe 19 on Project Bake. I'm a busy teacher. The summer promises at least 40 recipes.
I COMPLETELY botched a batch of chocolate chip cookies yesterday. Yes, it happens.
My students have state testing this week. I'm nervous and confident a the same time.
I am searching for a teaching job for next year. In the state of Utah. Help.
Spring break was actually worse than having school. I am weird.
I was humbled about 4 times yesterday in different areas of life. I needed that.
My entire family will be together this weekend for the first time since Thanksgiving.
I'm graduating from Brigham Young University in four days.
Seriously considering highlighting my hair. Who am I?
Next week I'm supposed to go to a dinner for a teaching award I won, with a guest. Help.
General Conference was fantastic.
I've rededicated myself to learn to play the piano. Now I just need a keyboard.
I feel good about myself. Better than usual.
Annnd I just found a intramural soccer team for the spring! Booyah!

Blogs are for self-indulging and making the whole world read about you, right?
Sorry.

I'm in love with Ronald Weasley.

It doesn't get much better than this, fellow muggles.
"Accio July, now!"

But seriously.

hello again.

It has been a week. A long, long week. Or has it been two?
But it's Friday morning and this weekend promises a lot of fun!

It's like when your dad was in charge of holding up the pinata when you were seven. You swing at it and he moves it right of your reach to tease you. You know there is something good inside, and you know you'll get it eventually and your garage will become a spinning world of color and candy. But you have to fight for it. I always appreciated that.

Right now, I'm tired of fighting. My dad would have recognized that, made me fight a little longer, and then stuck the pinata right in front of my face and taken off my blindfold. But I'm not seven and this isn't a pinata party, unfortunately. Kia kaha.


But more importantly, I'm waiting anxiously for my favorite 26 people in the world to show up. I've only got two more months with them, and I'm going to make it count.

Does anyone know where I can buy a pinata?

In the middle of an activity on St. Patrick's Day, I turn around and see this. I laughed for about ten minutes.
This is so how I feel right now.

Project Bake.

After much ado and hesitation, I am finally here to present to you:

Remind you of Julie and Julia? That's because that's where I got this whole crazy idea.

While I have lower expectations for myself and don't think this will change my life the way it changed Julia's, it is the same basic plan.

By the end of 2011, I'll have baked 100 recipes that I haven't baked before. I can't afford baking and pastry school (and probably couldn't get in), so I've decided to become my own teacher. There are technically only 306 days left in the year, and I've only got 96 more recipes to go, but I decided to include January, February, and my 4 previous creations into the project. 

Most of my recipes will fall under the following categories:

Bread

Cake

Chocolate

Cookies

Pastries

Pies

I know there are way too many logistics but, as an engineer's daughter, I had to go through all of this in my head before making it public. And now you get to hear about all of it!

Any recipe suggestions? Please send them my way at brestutz {at} gmail . com.

Hopefully in the end, it will turn into a small but beautiful cookbook.

Meet and follow my new blog: projectbakeblog.blogspot.com.

five minutes.

If you are studying to become a teacher, I strongly suggest any book by Ron Clark.  He is a fantastic teacher with so much experience to share, and he has changed my outlook and given me so many ideas for this profession (I know, people say this kind of stuff all the time, but I'm serious!).

Anyway, he writes about his sixth grade teacher who had them write in their journals everyday, even if it was just for five minutes.  They were to write about how they were feeling that day and anything that was on their mind, and he says that journal is one of the biggest treasures he has.  He wishes he would have done it every year.

I decided to incorporate this into my classroom.  Oh how I would LOVE to see into my own fourth grade mind!  Some of the boys think it is corny, but they are the ones who write the most! Writing is a huge struggle for my students, and thus the least favorite part of the day for all of us.  I am hoping that these five minutes of freedom will give writing a better rep in their minds.  Three-fourths of my class absolutely LOVE journal time now (Yanni plays over the speakers, who wouldn't love it?).  And you should have seen the excitement on their faces when I told them they could write in Spanish once a week.

I take these five minutes to write in my own journal.  It is a different book than my real journal, but it is where I write my thoughts on teaching - my worries, fears, and celebrations during my first year.  I am hoping it is as therapeutic for my students as it is for me.




"Get a good notebook, a good book that will last through time and into eternity for the angels to look upon. Begin today and write in it your goings and your comings, your deeper thoughts, your achievements, and your failures, your associations and your triumphs, your impressions and your testimonies." -Spencer W. Kimball

Valentine's Day

My loving mother pointed out all my spelling errors in my Christchurch post yesterday. I would like to apologize for not making sense.  I fixed them. Just know that I wrote that about five minutes before the school bell rang so I didn't check for errors. And I'm usually an error-checking-crazy-person.

I know, I am REALLY behind on blogging. Like really. Most people blog about Valentine's day like, that night, but I decided to keep you waiting for a week. I had about 30+ valentine's. Jealous?

Ok, ok, most of them were between the ages of 9-10. And by most I mean all, but I loved it! I tried to think of something cheap but out-of-the-ordinary for my students.  I saw Crush sodas on the blog eighteen25 and thought it was genius! Luckily, I found enough packs at KMart (which I never, ever go to so that was a blessing), wrapped them up in Valentine cellophane, and hand-made (YES!) a bunch of silly hearts to personalize them. They were a hit!

Teachers, I recommend it for next year.  In return, I received a chocolate apple, a huge Hershey's kiss, 3 chocolate roses, one real rose, boxes of chocolates, and a ridiculous amount of off-brand candy taped to puppy dog valentine's.  Chili flavored suckers are really, really weird.

That night we had some of our favorite friends over and made home-made pizza and cookies. It was such a fun night! We forgot to take pictures though, sorry.

More to come!

my classroom has been freezing cold

and I just thought I was being a wimpy Texan (which is an oxymoron, by the way). But after comments on the temperature of my room from 3 other adults, I decided I wasn't crazy. Half an hour later, our custodian (2nd nicest man on the planet) was in my ceiling playing with valves and pipes and told me I hadn't been getting any new air since November which is why my room wasn't heating up.

November.

December.

January.

Was that as dramatic as that one time Stephanie Meyer did it? No? Dang it. Well, he fixed it. Hallelujah!

Christchurch, NZ.

My heart goes out to the residents of Christchurch, NZ today. They just had a 6.3 earthquake hit the center of their city. This is the second huge earthquake they've had in five months.  Christchurch is a beautiful city with a lot of heritage and hard working people. Please keep them in your prayers as they begin to rebuild for the second time.

I was in Christchurch this time last year.

the difference between boys and girls.

Martha Stewart Garland

"This is me in 100 Years."

favorites.

Today is that day. That day each winter when it is finally light outside when you get in your car in the morning. I felt my spirits lift and my tread become lighter.

I have a lot of favorite people. You would think this would lessen the meaning of the word 'favorite,' but it doesn't. I really, genuinely like a LOT of people a LOT. But I get to spend seven hours a day/five days a week with 23 of my favorite people (it helps that they are really cute).

Last night I had a little catch-up convo with another one of my favorite people.
You know the ones: How's life? What's new? Where your boyfriend at? etc.
This favorite told me he was trying to have fun and was being quite successful at it.
I congratulated him and thought about how much fun I was not having. I don't attend social activities each night, I was sitting at home sick with Cory, Topanga, and Shawn, and I have a huge project hanging over my head just waiting to take away my Saturday.

This morning, as I was hop, skip, and jumping over snow patches to my car, I thought to myself, "Self, are you completely ridiculous? Yes. YOU HAVE SO MUCH FUN EVERYDAY! Look how excited you are to get to school today and learn and teach and play and laugh. You are dancing around at 7 am on a 21 degree, January morning on your way to a 10 hour workday. Dancing."

Life is so good. Life is ALWAYS good. Even when it's not, its good. Life = good.
I know what you are thinking. "Breanna always posts about the same thing. She has negative thoughts and then realizes her stupidity and then continually rejoices. When is she going to learn? And when is she going to come up with something new to write about."

Well, I am learning. My bet is you are too. And to me, learning is an eternal process. I don't think I'm perfect yet in any part of life.  Yes, there are parts that I am actually really, really good at, but I can be better. And as soon as I get really, really good at this part, I'll write about something new. But for now, I'm just basking in the winter sun. Through a window (it's still really cold out there).




Also, I can breathe out of my nose today, which is a huge improvement from last night.

or...

If you are still feeling down on yourself (even after my whole spiel yesterday), just happen to have one of your favorite (shh) students be charming and flattering enough to write you a "poem" like this during his free writing time:

Translation:

Dear Miss Stutz,

You are the spin in the world. You are so pretty.

Every kid we want you to be the teacher because you are so pretty.

You are the nicest teacher in the world.

That's why you are the best teacher in the school.

Everyone loves you.

When you smile you look so pretty and you are so funny to play with.

Self-esteem?

Yah, through the roof.

seriously, go away.

Not you. No, not you. I like you, dearest readers.

I'm talking about the evil little thoughts that creep into my mind when I all of a sudden realize I'm not invincible:

"You aren't good enough/pretty enough for him."

"You can't make a perfect score on the test, therefore you are incompetent."

"Seriously? You just cried in front of your coworkers and then slept through a party?"

"You made the wrong decision and now your entire life is going to take a different course and happiness will be very hard to come by and all your friends will get married tomorrow and you will be in Provo forever and probably gain ten pounds by Saturday."

Ok, so the last one was an exaggeration. But really, what can we do when these horrible doubts and fears try to plant themselves our heads? Nothing! It's an endless cycle of horrid torment! Just kidding.

We've actually been given a ton of guidance in this area. We (...I...) just need to remember to listen:

"You know enough."-Elder Neil L. Anderson

"Fear and faith cannot coexist."-Kevin W. Pearson

"You are creatures of divinity; you are daughters of the Almighty. Limitless is your potential. Magnificent is your future. Never forget that you came to earth as a child of the divine Father, with something of divinity in your very makeup.  The Lord did not send you here to fail." -Gordon B. Hinckley

"The Spirit can guide us when to look ahead and when to just take it one day at a time."-Elder D. Todd Christofferson

"Come what may and love it."-Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

"Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God. Behold, you have my gospel before you, and my rock, and my salvation." -D&C 18:10,17

All it takes is to remember our worth. But why is it still so hard? Because we are human. We cannot do it on our own; these degrading thoughts would tear us to pieces. Rely on the Lord to buoy you. He, and He alone, can give us the eternal perspective we need in trying times.

"Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not." -D&C 6:36

Do you have a favorite talk or scripture you turn to when you are feeling down on yourself? 

i really, really need this right now

so maybe you do too.

"Things work out, it isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out, don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in him, if we will pray to him, if we will live worthy of his blessings, he will hear our prayers." — Gordon B. Hinckley

Thanks to my Dad for reminding me of this quote.

got this in my email today:

Congratulations! Your application for April 2011 graduation has been reviewed and accepted by your Advisement Center. 


Oh, ok. I guess I'll graduate college now...
AWESOME! And scary.
So scary that I think I'll just go back to college in August.
Grad school.




I've been listening to a lot of Ingrid today.
It makes me feel like myself again.
Words are amazing. Music is amazing.
I need a better word than amazing.




All of a sudden I have multiple social activities for each night of this week.
Go me. Except Thursday, I have teacher training. You know, balance.








I miss my dog.