July.

Goodbye, July.

You have been wonderful, and a little bit terrible, too.

But mostly wonderful.

This will be a bittersweet farewell.

{image via papertissue}

"Live in each season as it passes: breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit."

-Henry David Thoreau

Perspective.

Last night, I talked to a best friend about how every person's life

is changing so rapidly in our little Provo world.

So many 'see you later's and 'nice to meet you's.

In some ways, it is more overwhelming than in others.

Another best friend, who I was corresponding with over Facebook,

said this to me in a completely unrelated conversation:

"Friendship at this age is interesting and lovely to me. We all go different ways and have different plans, but we support each other and love each other through it all."

What a brilliant way to look at it.

{image via fffound}

Especially.

for Youth.

I usually do not have this much energy after a week and a half of sleepless nights.

But this is how I felt for both weeks of EFY!

Excuse the hair, please.

And the ridiculous salmon-colored polo.

I didn't get to pick that out either.

Note to Self:

Try to be this excited/happy about daily life all the time.

For those of you who are confused, I spent two weeks of my wonderfully two-month-long-summer being a counselor for a church camp that is Especially for Youth (aka EFY). It is probably the most wonderful camp in the world. What church was it? Please go {here}.

This is what EFY is made of:

games where you run around like a crazy person, a good 5 hours of sleep every night (unless you are a counselor, in which case you get about 3), dances full of attractive young people, pizza/party night, really hyper counselors so everyone is always laughing, cheers and yelling, swimming, free time, awesome classes, COWs (crush of the week, oh drama), firesides, devotionals, YW/YM activites, service activities, standard lessons, testimony meetings, musical program. You have no idea.

First week: ten 14-15 year old girls were my biggest responsibility. we woke up at 6 together, had devotionals together, ate together, played together, learned together, cried together. they came to me for advice, cried to me about problems at home, asked me for answers to normal teenage questions. "why are boys so mean/dumb?" honey, i still don't know the answer to that. but that was not as deep as it goes. "Breanna, when did you get a real testimony? I believe, but I want to KNOW for SURE." wow, what a growing experience. a 14 year old with such a desire.

Second week: eight 16-18 year old girls. what smart young women. their examples strengthened me more than i could have helped them. it is my responsibility to be all i can be for them that week, so that they can see an older girl with a happy life who is doing all the right things. i tried my hardest. miracles happened this week. so many miracles. i can't even begin to describe the experiences that we had together. also, water came out of my nose this week.

Best team of counselors ever:

i love my life.

i have never laughed so hard.

more pictures to come.

Sweetening.

Ice Cream.

{picture}

Thank you Mesopotamians, for inventing the icehouse.

And thank you Greeks for adding fruit and honey to ice.

But mostly, thank you 18th century England and America for true ice cream.

Seriously, I have had it three times since saturday.

Braum's, Blue Bell, some weird off brand.

It goes with anything. It's the perfect dessert after any meal.

It's also the perfect meal.

Just saying.

Ice cream, I love you.

Disorientated.

Today I went to the HMNS.

I saw Terra Cotta Warriors.

and Genghis Khan. Well, some of his stuff, anyway.

I watched sharks on a 3D Imax screen.

All in all successful and interesting.

and then got lost in Houston.

I can drive the scary streets of LA, but I get lost in my own city?

Boo.

It's time to study some maps.

Appeasement.

I am sitting in my family room.

Longing for EFY {of which I will blog later}.

When I realize I'm sitting in a room with both parents,

two younger siblings, and my dog.

Why do I become so ungrateful at times?

I pity myself for being bored, being friendless in Texas.

For not being as wonderful or talented as those five girls

that I miss more than they miss me.

Big whoop.

I have a fully functional, blessed family.

There are few times a year when I get to sit, unstressed, 

surrounded by those I am eternally, ecstatically, tied to.

Mom, always generous, asks if I want her credit card so I can rent a movie. I say no thanks, I am too lazy today. Still recovering. Dad brings up dating in Provo. This seems to be a more common topic than I wish it were. But he is home from a hard day of work, to support and feed me. To educate me. So he can talk to me about anything he wants. Sister can't pull her pupils from her iPod Touch.  She reads a cousins email out loud. Brother stares at the television, watching the Disney channel at a far too low volume. And doggie dearest sits at my feet, waiting for any invitation to accept a belly rub. Cat is most likely napping in the next room, and my two older brothers are always on my mind and in my heart. They forget I am an adult, but hopefully remember that I still look up to them they way I did when I was 11. Sister-in-law must feel tired. Nephew #1 is growing in her belly. I want to ask her how it feels. I am nervous about that experience. Watching her go through it successfully and happily is good for me.

What is more than this?

Nothing.

Nothing is more comforting than having a home, having a family.

Nothing can describe the excitement I feel when I remember I never have to say goodbye.

No words can express how undeserving I am of these blessings.

But I am trying. 

Twenty.

In pictures.

I was 90% kidding about that last thing on the list... hahahaha.

 

What an awesome memorial service, and then the music video marathon.

Cupcakes and Blue Bell. My favorite!

Feeling the Love.

True Love. What a way to end my day.

Not to mention:

Phone calls from my favorites (Kenj, Michelley, AD).

Phone calls from my related favorites (Kenny, Megan, Jacob, Grammie).

The absolute best presents I have ever gotten for a birthday, just ask if you want to know.

Constant love flowing in from texts/facebooks.

And my mom's amazing homemade chicken ceaser salad.

Independence.

I know I am late. The 4th is one of my favorite holidays! But I did not do a good job of documenting it this year, and for that, I apologize.

The only important thing that you see is my oldest brother's holiday shirt.

But my youngest brother is too cute to resist.

What a great country we live in.  May we remember those who sacrificed so much that we might have our freedom and independence.  While our country is constantly overcome by sketchy leadership and economic crises, we are blessed with religious freedom and lifestyle choices that others cannot even imagine.  God bless America.

Missionary.

I got this HUGE birthday card from a missionary friend, Elder Kunz:

 

And a wonderfully written first letter from one of my very best friends, Hermana Funch.

Both in the same week.

Missionaries are the best.

Hermana Funch is doing great, and to those of you who know her, she sends her love.  The MTC is rough, but she is talented at these kinds of things. I cried a good cry while reading it. It's good to know she is alive and well, but I miss her enormously.

Dream.

I found this little treasure today. She has a beautiful voice.

I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green. 

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be. 
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep. 

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream.