Appeasement.

I am sitting in my family room.

Longing for EFY {of which I will blog later}.

When I realize I'm sitting in a room with both parents,

two younger siblings, and my dog.

Why do I become so ungrateful at times?

I pity myself for being bored, being friendless in Texas.

For not being as wonderful or talented as those five girls

that I miss more than they miss me.

Big whoop.

I have a fully functional, blessed family.

There are few times a year when I get to sit, unstressed, 

surrounded by those I am eternally, ecstatically, tied to.

Mom, always generous, asks if I want her credit card so I can rent a movie. I say no thanks, I am too lazy today. Still recovering. Dad brings up dating in Provo. This seems to be a more common topic than I wish it were. But he is home from a hard day of work, to support and feed me. To educate me. So he can talk to me about anything he wants. Sister can't pull her pupils from her iPod Touch.  She reads a cousins email out loud. Brother stares at the television, watching the Disney channel at a far too low volume. And doggie dearest sits at my feet, waiting for any invitation to accept a belly rub. Cat is most likely napping in the next room, and my two older brothers are always on my mind and in my heart. They forget I am an adult, but hopefully remember that I still look up to them they way I did when I was 11. Sister-in-law must feel tired. Nephew #1 is growing in her belly. I want to ask her how it feels. I am nervous about that experience. Watching her go through it successfully and happily is good for me.

What is more than this?

Nothing.

Nothing is more comforting than having a home, having a family.

Nothing can describe the excitement I feel when I remember I never have to say goodbye.

No words can express how undeserving I am of these blessings.

But I am trying.